First Time Mum

It is so true that nothing can prepare you for the experience of parenthood for the first time.
Suddenly you have all of these new emotions and a little person to look after and its all quite overwhelming.
There are new skills you have that you don’t even know you have
-The ability to last on little sleep
-Multi tasking on a whole new level
-Holding a stupid amount of shopping and a baby
-Getting excited over tiny little things
to name a few.
Its the most amazing, crazy, mind blowing thing becoming a parent, and so hard to truly explain and understand unless you are one.
Its amazing how such a tiny person can fill your heart with so much happiness and love from just a smile and how you know that as soon as you saw them you would do absolutely anything for them.
There is suddenly this little person who needs you to teach him everything he needs to know to learn and develop, and who loves and adores you unconditionally because your their mummy and daddy.
No matter how many books you read, or classes you go to, when you hold your baby in your arms, you just know what to do, and what is best for your family.
You can sit there and think, “Oh no what do I do”, but when its your baby, you just know what to do, and if you don’t, then you’ll muddle through until you do.
I still look at him sometimes and think, how have we got this far? I’ve actually looked after you, and cared for you, and we’ve done it for this long, and its going ok. I find it strange to think of myself as a parent sometimes, I still have to ask my mum things, as mums seem to know everything? (I’m guessing this comes with time).
I guess it is true what they say, you always need your mum.
With that in mind, I have found that you defiantly appreciate your parents more once you have had a child of your own. You appreciate all the things they did for you, all the sacrifices they would have made just to make you happy. All those times you probably thought they were being mean, but they weren’t. Its like a light turns on and you get it. Why they did all those things.
Its truly a emotional roller coaster the first few weeks, crying for no reason at all, the lifestyle change makes quite a impact on your previous and therefore currant life that can take a little tine to adjust to.
There is on thing you defiantly do when becoming a parent, you learn who your really friends are.
I find it sad how detached and different your life becomes to friends you were once very close with , just because you have a child.
I found out who really cared still enough to ask about Noah, come and see him and just have a general interest in my life still.
Although it doesn’t consist of drinking or going out whenever any more, it has much more exciting possibilities, if you don’t have children you cant always get past that, which is where the problems begin. The line between growing up and being boring merges and this is generally when the divide is apparent.

I have a few friends who are in the same stage of life as me, and have children, so its nice to surround yourself with people who understand and want to do similar things to do, it doesn’t make the whole thing as lonely at it can sometimes feel.

The negative of becoming a parent is, whether you admit it or not, you do seem to, subconsciously, become a lot more judgemental and competitive. You suddenly look at other mums and think why are they doing that? when really, like you, they are just doing the best they can.
Always comparing what a child is doing to ensure that they are striving to do ‘what they should be’ and its so super silly really because everyone grows at different rates.
With all of this said, no matter how much negativity there is in your life,if you have a little person, you’ll always be happy.
I know I am every time I look at his gorgeous face. It makes me want to cry with happiness.
I can not describe that feeling when you first see your baby and hold him in your arms, all I can say is there truly is nothing like it.
He is my greatest achievement and love of my life.
Noah William Parker.
08.09.2014
and so  i shall leave you with a quote from one of my favourite authors Nicholas Sparks.
“I think it happens to everyone as they grow up, you find out who you are, and what you want, and then you realise that people you’ve known forever don’t see things in the way you do and you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on”. – Nicholas Spark-True Believer
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